Slayed Slaine?
by Shin-Ijin
Summary: SPOILER for episode 12 - Slaine's though and regrets? Something like that. I like Slaine and I know that what he did was really ... well, you know? I still like him. I can't see him as the only one at fault, honestly! But the ending was unexpected... Until I read that Urobutche stroke back.


I deserve this. I know I deserve this. I did it. I'm the one at fault. Why? Why did it have to end like that?

My vision was blurred by my tears. I have no right to cry. Why? Is it because I failed to steel myself? Saying half-baked things like protecting the princess. Thinking that my loyalty lied with the princess? That anyone turning its blade against her would be my enemy.

And yet? Yet I helped the one who wanted to kill her and killed the one who saved her. I felt moved by Milord's ideal. I understood his feeling. His thirst for revenge. And because of that I felt sympathy and allowed- no…. - I helped him kill the one I had to protect.

I couldn't protect her –No. I did better than not protect her. I- killed her. I looked at my arms where she rested. Was she alive? Was she dead? I don't know? Even now I am too afraid to check. Why did I take her away? It was unbearable to see her with Orange.

I killed him. That hateful Orange. I hate him. And I killed him. I killed him because I hate him? I killed him because -I envied him. In the end I'm not sure why I killed him.

* * *

><p>I deserve this. Every bit of it. I was the origin so I'll put an end to it. I did put an end to it. Not the way I would have liked it to end. It was my fault. I talked to her about my homeland. I made her interested in it. And I failed to dissuade her from going there even thought I knew about the relation between martian and terran. I thought—hoped and believed that she could do it. That that peaceful world I dreamt about would come to pass by. That I could go back to my homeland with her someday. Show her how beautiful my homeland was. How pitiful and stupid of me.<p>

I thought about Orange and the Princess. They were close. They …. Love each other? I couldn't bear it. Orange was the one who sank me. Who prevented me from being by her side. Yet he could stay by her side? Yet he could smile happily? Not that he smiled but he felt so happy… It was his fault. No it was mine. Because I am weak. Because I'm a whining half assed coward.

I asked him._ 'Are you my enemy?!'_

He said. _'You are MY enemy.'_

I hate him. He prevented me from being by her side. Yet he managed to protect her from the knights. I couldn't do that. And yet. I helped a knight kill the one I swore to protect.

I deserve this. But I couldn't bear it. Seeing him crawl his way to the Princess. I was envious. I know the Princess would have smiled seeing him beside her. They would have a happy death, together. I couldn't bear that. He was the reason I suffered. I wouldn't let him have that last bit of happiness.

Because I wanted to make him suffer. I killed the one I love.

I deserve it. Every bit of suffering and pain. And… If the Princess lives. I deserve her hatred.

* * *

><p>- I just wished it would have taken another turn. I just wished-<p>

_'Are you my enemy?!'_ –that he would have said _'no'_. If he wasn't my enemy. If I could be beside the Princess…. Even though I would never be chosen, I would have been glad to lay my life down to protect them. Protect the Princess and the one she loves. I own my life to her. I would give it back to her.

But it's too late. I let my emotions and resentment take over me and I killed the man she loved. –I should have helped him. Verify the Princess' well being and rescue her. That is what she would have wished.

If the Princess ever wakes up. Will she regret having said my life back then? Ah, more tears.

-I never wished for that. For this life to cause her any grief…! I was happy to have lived by her side. I wanted it to stay that way forever. I, I just wanted to live by her side! Just what is wrong with that wish?! Why was it denied?! Why did it end like that?!

I gritted my teeth, felling my mouth bleed. As a drop fell on her I choked.

Ah. Of course it would be denied. Because I didn't live to repay her. I lived indulging myself in her kindness. This is divine retribution. A way to show me that I should have died back then. Or that Orange should not have sank me, but kill me. I should never have dreamed about reaching out to her.

The one who should have protected her, assisted the enemy in killing her.

The one who should have been by her side, was killed by the one who should have protected her.

I should have been the one by her side. I failed. I deserve every bit of suffering.

-If only I could have been by her side.

But no. I wasn't by her side. And I killed her. I deserve this.

* * *

><p>I just finished this anime. I wanted to throw things. I have always kind of liked Slaine. But in this episode... Shit. I still kind of like him because I kind feel a bit empathy but I never expected Urobutcher to strike again. I had 2 endings in mind. I was wrong. I want a world where everyone can be happy. I forgot that a lot of person like bad endings.<p>

I felt pity and compassion for Slaine. I though his feeling were pure and his loyalty didn't need to be proven. I thought that Slaine could get along with Inaho. I don't really like Inaho, but I thought he could get along with Slaine, well, more like harass Slaine and tease him. I thought they could have a happy ending. And that vision was all warm and naive.

Then Inaho rejected Slaine and I hated Inaho even more because I think that that decision is what made this ending come to pass. Not that Slaine is blameless, but Inaho is far from being a just hero. I know for sure that it's impossible for Slaine to get a happy ending or get paired up with the Princess. If the opening is a foreshadowing of the second saison then Slaine will get his retribution. I just hope he won't go full emo or Suzaku-like. I'd like him to man up a bit, at least in his last moment... What a pitiful and tragic character. I guess that's how you become a villain, huh? Being pure and innocent, making everlasting mistake, changing side. Never being able to grasp any hapiness. Truly a sad character.


End file.
